Introduction/Journal 1

Hello!

So, I started a new blog as an outlet of some sorts.

I have been recently diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

This new diagnosis has come one month after I was told I was borderline anorexic. My doctor at the time told me to gain weight and I failed. So with more mental testing and long talks about what has been going on, we finally come to the conclusion that I have BDD. Basically, in my case I have all the eating disorders and it just deals a lot with my OCD.

I want to blog about my experiences as a way to cope and to finally come to terms that I need to get healthy now so im asking for support and love in this new adventure. I will be posting journals everytime I have a doctors appointment or a therapy session relating to my BDD or anything related to it.

So with that being said, welcome to journal 1.

I did my first grocery shopping trip today in hopes of gaining the weight needed. It finally hit me today that I'm sick. There's no more playing games. It is get healthy or go to a treatment center. I don't know how to really feel about it so I blog. I blog to maybe make sense of it all.

This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I weigh the lowest that I can ever remember and of course I love being skinny. I love the fact that people are like, "Man what do you do to be that thin." It is just the fact that my family and my loved ones are worried.

I have so much food in my kitchen and I may be slightly broke after food shopping and bills but one step closer to recovery right? This is my journey and this is the start.

-Kyrsten